Trump’s Leaked Tax Returns Reveal Hidden Birdhouse Obsession

Trump Ashamed of his Custom Birdhouse Collection, Among Other Things

By Kennith Doglog

The entire country has been in suspense awaiting the revealing of Trump’s tax returns, as he is the first president not to release them since the 1970s. While people were waiting to see if it would reveal any illegal doings or conflict of interest, many were disappointed to learn that the reason they were not released was not because of anything illegal, but rather out of embarrassment for the president.  

After having top lawyers look over the tax returns, the Democratic Party learned that Trump has not done anything illegal. The tax returns did, however, reveal an unhealthy obsession with birdhouses for the commander in chief.

As it turns out, Trump has spent more than $15.8 million on birdhouses since 2010. Hidden on a 200-acre ranch in Iowa, Trump pays nearly $2 million a year to maintain his collection and visits them quarterly. Since the obsession was revealed, Ivanka Trump spoke out in defense of her father’s cuckoo tiny village.

“He is very sensitive about his birdhouses,” Ivanka said, “and I think we should all embrace the love and devotion he has towards such an honorable hobby. As a child, I was not even allowed to go near “Ye Ole Feather Village” because it meant so much to him. I think this reveals a more human side to my father, and I’m glad this is finally public knowledge.”

The birdhouses range from $200,000 to $1.1 million, and have been created by many different birdhouse architects from around the world.  As it turns out, most of the trips oversea for Trump were to inspect or purchase new pieces for his collection.

While the village is about the size of an NFL football field, Trump has a strict “No Bird” rule as to not damage his assets. They are kept in a large greenhouse, which the exterior needs to be cleaned regularly to clean off all the bird blood from those trying to access the feathered paradise. Many of these deceased birds are later cleaned and cooked for the illegal immigrants maintaining the village.

Since the village has now become public knowledge, Trump plans to no longer hide his obsession and expand his collection. There may even be plans of creating a museum out of it one day.