Pantsuit Nation

Hilary Clinton Shows Her True Colors 

By Kennith Doglog

Finished with politics for good, Hilary Clinton finally decides to follow her true passion with the very first reason she wanted to go into politics in the first place: the pantsuits.

In the coming months, the fashion world is going to see a considerable change, and it’s not Gucci, Prada, or Ralph Lauren that will be spearheading this futurist direction of cloths and linens. Clinton plans on releasing a new line of pantsuits with her company “HiL” in an attempt to create a less industrious trend for working women of 21st century.

“HiL” will create customizable pantsuits in every style, color, and size imaginable. The initial line will focus on the most basic colors of the rainbow and will diverge from there to obscure colors that one might find in the deluxe 152 box of Crayola crayons.

“I’ve always felt that the lack of colors in government and among female business leaders is something that needs to be seriously addressed, I mean everyone looks like they should be working in a futuristic dystopian chemical lab” Clinton said when asked about the unusual career move.

“As a little girl I wanted nothing more than to wear a pantsuit to work, and I knew that politics was my ticket to achieving that dream. But once I got to a place where I could wear them in public and be revered for my fashion choices it was unsettling how limiting the options were. That is why I’m starting “HiL.” I’m hoping it will encourage young girls to no longer disregard politics as a career choice because of how appalling the fashion trends are.”

Investors are already beginning to line up to support the push towards pantsuits. Some believe that it will not only become a trend in politics and high stake business, but also in day to day life for tweens and teens globally. In the past we have seen bell bottoms, mesh tops, yoga pants, and countless other fashion trends take off, none being as sophisticated or comfortable as pantsuits.

“That’s the great thing about pantsuits,” Michelle Kindler, a fashion writer from Vouge, said. “You can wear them almost anywhere at any time and still feel confident yet comfortable. I’m honestly surprised this hasn’t taken off yet, but sometimes you just need the right kind of person to lead a revolution like this.”

While the pantsuits are most commonly worn by women at business meetings when giving public speeches, this new line of “HiL” products will also be worn by both men and women, amenable for all occasions. They will initially come stylized as pajamas, hiking attire, and for general water park needs. In fact, even Bernie Sanders is hopping on his former rival’s pantsuit trend because of “just how damn good it makes me feel.” The future is looking brighter for both women and the fashion industry, and the with it “HiL”.