John Kerry’s Chin at Larger Tipping Point Than Global Warming

Secretary of State John Kerry Has Issued Warnings That the Earth is at a Tipping Point, but Some Have Worried that Kerry’s Chin is at a Tipping Point

By Philbert Sullivan

While Kerry gave a heartfelt speech begging nations to answer calls to act on climate change, even equating it with dangers such as terrorism, The Secretary of State still gave no mention to the deafening protests and chants that came from outside. Sanctioned over 200 feet away, over 1000 protested not only the world’s unmoving action on climate change but also why John Kerry’s chin remains so big.

Kerry even mentioned that tiny islands may disappear because of rising oceans but not that these same oceans could make his chin disappear. He also angered snow and chinmen alike as he did not mention the stringent fear of the snow men and women who were literally melting, granted very slowly, outside as the secretary spoke. Not only will islands disappear but these snow people (or snoeple as they call themselves) are going to disappear even quicker. Many of the Snowmen felt it was very unnerving that while their chins have disappeared John Kerry’s continues to grow.

Paris will host the 2015 UN climate change conference at which a new pact to cut global emissions applicable to all countries is due to be hammered out along with applicable chin sizes. After long talks the snow people have convinced international delegates that they to have a seat at the table, and Fro Sty will be representing the side of all snow people throughout the world at the 2015 talks. Hopefully such talks will lead to further progress not only on climate change, but for the rights of all of those who want basic chin sizes throughout the world.

Mr. Fro Sty

Mr. Fro Sty

Obama's House of Cards

A letter from Doge’s Chief Editor

(Such Hyperlinks = Much Sources)

Obama’s much intentions behind the executive order to make broadband construction faster and cheaper are such not what they seem to be. Wow republicans much blast Obama over his misuse of power of executive order. Obama’s real intentions were much that everyone in the nation must watch House of Cards on Netflix. Such evidence, much the timing of this tweet (exclusively gained by all twitter followers) and wow implementation of his executive order that expands broadband to every home in the United States. Such Coincidence? Much No!

All of this, plus fact that there have been much complaints over Netflix’s slow streaming quality. So obviously too many connections here to deny such wow truth. Much truth is that Frank Underwood has infiltrated himself into Obama’s White House. Through much back channel, he has wrangled and convinced the administration to much improve broadband so every American household can gain wow access to House of Cards Season 2. This would much cement Mr. Underwood as the most famous political character in all of media history, much surpassing Josiah Bartlett from Wow West Wing, Wow. Therefore, all much please join Such Politics and all doges in calling for wow boycott of watching House of Cards season 2 on March 22 - The day we take back Obama from the much grips of Frank Underwood.  In order to help spread the news so no one watches on March 22 please tweet #HoCWowBoycott

Much Wow –

Top Doge

Diners, Drive-Ins and Democracy

 By Philbert Sullivan

Food Network’s ratings have plunged recently and in order to boost them, the network has decided to jump onto the bandwagon of covering politics. The new show is a spin-off of Guy Ferrari’s “Diners, Drive-ins and Dives” and has been dubbed, “Diners, Drive-ins and Democracy.” The show follows different politicians, from President Obama to Senator McCain, around the country as they taste their favorite foods from the best dive restaurants. For example, below is a picture of former Secretary of State John Kerry eating a tomato-topped sub at the Turkey Trot Diner. Five months later former President Bill Clinton enjoyed a similar hero.

However, things got a little ridiculous when Governor Chris Christie was invited on the show. On his was to the Jamaican Sun Diner he stopped at the local donuts shop and got caught up with the “baker's dozen special" (above). Christie could not stop eating and was even seen downing donuts on the Tonight Show. The shows ratings began to skyrocket after former President Bush appeared on the show. While he stopped off at a local French restaurant he got somewhat confused between the ratatouille and local cat. Finally, things got a little weird when the show made a stop off at P.H. Vegas Hot Dog Stand. Both President Obama and former Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann eating a variety of hot dogs. With all of these high profile politicans already on for season one, Food Network has signed a contract for another season of “Diners, Drive-ins and Democracy.” Below is a sneak peak when the network goes abroad...